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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
: }" k. t) w3 Q( V# T; I: q: N3 p2 ~& g, h/ V4 w
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
, a, ]- H1 W# H: x- S我先来！& J& g" P; A) R# R9 O$ R' {( g' r
0 {( p2 Z" r1 _ I" f. g' C8 D1 Z- e. z- M" ]
A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
* W- P' r3 x( L同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”1 M; V- S, e2 J3 R; V( S# Y% M: T
+ ], Y. Q7 `" P* F+ B& ]/ Q
: F# w: {& l8 }深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"$ j- v8 t% N8 H* T
3 ^) {$ |" } X: B$ O& N6 }) D6 R' f7 F- _/ B& X
一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，8 m7 H: w0 {3 N% O1 s# E
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”+ c* W) K7 i0 C( i! c
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
& R" j: h1 T% r所以非常受欢迎。2 l3 x( ?& F- C3 L# B7 D8 H) q F
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，2 X( [0 k) P4 V0 B: V6 ]* G
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”; @" Z2 v! B4 X6 x: {* v# I$ @
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
' e) q* N* W& C) L* C9 j% ], \ X回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：' w) f$ _$ U0 I; j; a* f5 l' R G
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！7 x6 Y8 ^+ v( ]: `6 @
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”" s o( o3 R7 Y- ~7 a( w
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
! a R1 f% G" u生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
2 K& E3 t, I* R' h5 h$ I) V于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
* g# ~+ K+ E; g; G小明：不行4 m7 \$ ~, N) ?" L# q* I+ D7 O
老师：為什麼？; a! s2 K* r R* x' |
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分8 E* j, q& |5 c' [
小明：我是照你的话做的) t+ O/ L% O/ x0 I
妈妈：我说了什麼？
4 ]/ s$ ?- a6 \- `+ u; P: c6 P小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
7 W; y% G7 R2 F2 l1 D+ e) ]7 p她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，: [1 s; o5 O. c
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
3 n* [3 x! H& Z& u小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？4 D+ B5 w- k+ T+ [! m6 Q. J
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
; F( C& U4 i* _2 r9 h5 F' z小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
; E6 K% t# t# X2 }3 U5 E6 t4 f然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 8 X; U/ O% z7 r X. P8 [
+ _" i( M9 a7 x. U5 F( D
, @9 J' V- Q7 H; D" A2 t( {& {) [大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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