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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！9 K7 ?8 ^6 S$ y3 B* J" ]* |
我先来！2 h" V0 O8 b, l
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. S( v- G0 q1 Q% XA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”/ y. \6 U" w/ M5 W7 q' A$ {
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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2 z* _7 c- t( C深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"& H4 J; K1 K6 c& W+ ]
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，2 M' I U+ q1 L0 W U7 }
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
- Y+ @ \' N% ^+ ?3 m+ ]. @: |1 N弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
- e4 v' Q( M/ E& L7 H( B: s2 o所以非常受欢迎。
! t e6 v; k& S$ X第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，* T7 E7 E8 X# U) O! n9 n/ ?" f
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
, @; F1 d: x8 S大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，0 I5 E% }. A. e
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：- e' k9 g1 R7 N3 K' }7 s% M# t* o6 t0 Z
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
% M- g6 p& }$ D" _0 x) Y v不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
& K5 }0 ]# q; B9 H/ p" [她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
+ H w6 Q/ u$ U1 M0 m9 ^% h3 p生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。2 T# |9 E+ p( o/ ^/ C6 j
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。2 u {" S c, }$ h8 Y
小明：不行5 S3 f3 L- G- G/ ]1 u
老师：為什麼？* [) F. N+ |* ~: ~
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分* J! D u; I1 u; ]$ ^, Q$ n
小明：我是照你的话做的" M& c1 s0 f8 P7 u5 s; N. e) p
妈妈：我说了什麼？
& o9 r- N$ T9 s7 D小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，( v- O3 J5 b9 h \: ~
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
! b% j/ i- L% R就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
( n! Z; Q; L" [8 p: V/ K小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
( z" n6 J& l. o/ ]. T妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
) N* j# `: F+ |# O3 j7 {. \2 k5 F2 B小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！7 B5 e" h) Q$ y7 s
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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+ {: Z4 ?$ B7 @. M' J大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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