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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
/ Y! ?) `3 J% F. l+ V z5 K! M% p, B% U, ]0 d$ {- c6 _6 a
_& C" h [5 w& u9 B7 k今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！. G- S7 }9 U% R( s" w2 ^# k
我先来！0 P- g: X J) H% |! l. v2 r; \ S
+ h* O& a4 s( b! ~0 ? V; N s, F! ?5 v0 T
A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
2 e0 x/ n$ V) d+ v3 ~同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”0 i( w. v/ D# v C# H
7 L+ N- c, ~; q2 _- {3 Y2 N0 H
- [: b; U9 k& \' g深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…", C& l( I8 i" R# ]3 ?2 |
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1 I; L9 A) b* c. A$ a9 Q2 @, u一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
3 V& n2 U+ y$ x; b. ~6 N, q r- h每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
3 O. S* c2 X, K0 W, K6 |弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，6 P! n' F+ q0 X9 i; }7 i
所以非常受欢迎。, O6 ^1 _8 I0 B% x i
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
/ T1 r1 a8 q1 y7 J& x# W: g2 W问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
$ t9 C# N d6 v" K* {5 }1 u3 T大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
, b% t0 T- V" } t回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：7 L# A9 x% l/ ~5 {
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！2 `/ I4 @3 K! g
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
% n6 d6 A! e: s! r" b T+ x. P她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
5 }; } _# y+ B# J生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。 J5 N v7 s/ ?
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
( Y! k) \" m& F1 T" n8 T小明：不行
+ |- o% W$ Q; e3 A4 S- Q老师：為什麼？
2 ], m T' \5 S. ] c" x! _# t, l5 f% c小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分7 Q2 F a n9 ?. T( t2 o8 d
小明：我是照你的话做的5 X# b; V5 P' p- C6 p
妈妈：我说了什麼？# E( Z0 E0 d2 d9 S2 j) z
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
: |( v% H) U. c8 c她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
7 M8 y2 f! `; D* u7 Z" ~% I就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
4 `' j5 \. }. w5 f$ {( I$ P小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？3 {% i0 V; _7 a+ P6 |4 n4 W
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？3 `* ^( O! A/ N' j& h
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！- p) {6 `7 T$ M M+ l; E; o2 U
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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/ p. X7 p4 E' D6 C# E6 l6 H; ?大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
) C3 e* L3 A# c" ^% O1 B5 j- [/ v/ p0 q) X- \8 k$ l' g1 y
3 w) Z8 O4 t. t* b7 i& e( h. m+ p# B* b O, P9 K' c
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