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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”
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& s! m r" @* U2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”& T: \- Q1 Q. S. [& O
' ~ m, w% I3 k C$ j3 w+ l男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”/ B7 \# e& |1 D, `7 z7 k- `! x! H
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
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( s% P `1 T" ?$ D! L5 Y老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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' D) x9 I4 D5 h4 W: O' P/ y; I女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。- d+ K, C" F& Z# a' }* r
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笑死我了。。。
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7 N7 N( `* A2 _2 P k, P4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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) n5 x- W) k. n, K0 x/ i5 z她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!, b5 F8 q7 }" M# o2 c" U
( `5 g7 [/ }! S9 Q# W* T/ B晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”) l+ d( T! f) d) B
& z2 K+ [8 ?- }! q; m+ A恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，" s' _5 ~0 q& X. b
" C ^ Z% v! G: I( H j# l就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”7 x+ ~$ s# H6 b4 w5 e; _3 S
# U- C+ I0 j( M! r" d5 v孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！" ?; q5 {* R$ c% j; C+ \
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一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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1 t0 ?2 u9 t" R' v, c; M' N当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？; | n& v; h' f! }1 k
: n3 h/ ]7 K" [4 R! k0 @, O+ x- X/ ?. O我，无业闲人一个。2 T: @( n/ y6 ]' V
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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9 k; P' K4 Y& S6 h女：滚她妈犊子，滚…; @5 T( K# m& v( w$ W
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当前离线
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