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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”8 ?1 d5 G6 A3 I7 b6 P
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”3 U R2 \6 U/ Z, c" n' } {: Y
9 e$ U3 q; r4 g/ ^5 k. g男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
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) G, P0 r7 M9 ]" }& W老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。 s- e! a5 v# n& t0 D; [5 G
) k9 K7 @1 \! g5 p7 v笑死我了。。。9 I5 @* n; T$ C& E
) k) [$ f3 E# b S0 A4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，2 }5 }9 d; ]* U: S2 x( c4 g: @
, n5 t, X' D- a% k可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
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7 W, E) {; j0 f我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!7 |% f/ }7 T2 S0 q( ?
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晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”7 S$ T; S! k6 |0 O3 Z0 h5 L* @
7 C4 @4 O- I" H' ^+ f. c恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，, y6 v% c4 y4 Q6 Y
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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9 C9 t \3 z& x" x' Z- X$ t" @孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…( j" X0 m/ t% `- g( m: b$ Z
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，9 V3 p' J$ ~& ?. K
7 L$ S5 i9 c# {, w/ j8 _4 g我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！4 _$ R$ R2 I+ \9 ~
! f) Z. [" ]) w6 ^# H3 W一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。 @; t3 H7 ` |8 D* m8 F& Q+ J
0 A- R% c& ~9 k# s. L当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？- {8 J/ a' \' s# h& k! a2 |
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我，无业闲人一个。
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0 ?$ B8 l$ H/ @. Z0 K. ~女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？8 G! p& f8 a9 f
% q9 B4 ? I! J# T我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。2 j5 q$ s/ Q: P0 B; f
v5 z3 ^' w, j7 d. c女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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