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1.局花' Y8 y1 t5 |+ w6 `! f, B9 H
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
5 Z) l1 |9 ? n3 ]# Y/ Q4 B心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
& K$ p' E4 j9 `% X, i( w. y小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。& v& a$ @, \# x8 [ z2 j' |, i
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
4 W4 Z* o/ l) V7 z( y1 V7 V, o$ S2 W; s" T. x" F
2.媳妇
0 o6 K) x; z+ `! o- A4 T2 o10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
# A' f' i$ d, w+ b. y他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”% S9 R% y% U& c3 o- P
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”3 A9 Z0 @ @2 c; l, z( b! C
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺% H9 W3 s* E5 C0 d- z' j
6 z) p( Y! Q }" A5 d
3.倒贴
- r4 L! Z$ n, S过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
# M2 T! ^" O& g$ P' {0 d+ H. L于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
: f4 u0 r$ ~% Y: P老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
# s$ @ X9 j+ f( y# M老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！” z2 T; R( v; v" ]; `% F N* @( i
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
) ]% M" m0 t3 A& Q- x( x8 W“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”4 Z9 c+ O+ E2 a8 f
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
2 I9 I6 c5 J9 b9 [" |4 L$ e
3 D, v! b8 D* x# r C9 v# z4.刺激
( x- a u3 P9 T7 m今天我走在街上，8 |6 i, R" q: a3 |
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺, j) N+ \+ z1 ~" a. o# s2 t
，我心想完了。
; R" e5 X0 j+ N1 P过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。! i _ _+ h5 j, D( }# i3 N+ O
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
4 O: H+ J1 h8 h% c7 @尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
2 ?0 ]/ s& t! |9 S7 i评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激8 I5 H3 b& F* s' Y/ p7 M
# H" N* O0 `! u5.不加倍
2 \, A i8 v, f1 |% ^小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
/ I: S8 z& w1 u" f3 v4 H! M8 n今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。# h/ N. i- ^) E% ^1 L/ d) _/ V) s
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
% z0 @ P- Z5 b0 z5 i' D小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
9 S8 Y$ L- h5 p+ q) {小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”- \% X) y2 s4 ], i- C1 A( d+ b1 |
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的2 e' h7 Z0 @8 c
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