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1.局花' |% W! c0 a5 p
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
2 {+ Q3 R! @$ M心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
/ h8 {" k. i8 Y) j0 N# w2 l小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。5 D" P }- [9 e2 n2 }
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么& C" L# m/ ? I# h! h( R3 o6 a
3 b8 E( s) _: o2 l
2.媳妇
+ I8 G5 D6 d. F) x+ s, m# @+ F* Y10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
! k4 T# `1 [) |8 i2 n! J. ]; _他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”. ~" {) [+ X% e' M
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”/ F# ]* q3 i! ?0 N$ f
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺0 z' C& }8 s* k/ P
4 k4 l8 q! O9 S6 c3 L
3.倒贴
: ~. z1 M# V- d) X- _( Z+ U过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。2 a5 x( ]! w/ C& y2 n' S5 W9 s( c
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。9 P W0 H$ w' s7 J' V. h+ g
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”" R/ x* T3 c0 x6 h
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”8 L% Y; \3 R- D3 ^3 t1 T
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
5 m( K7 l. f! c6 f; W$ G/ n$ z4 B- T“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
1 T0 M) i- v' D* z评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
" {( }1 C! X n# a, ]+ H
4 {3 b4 ]: L# g/ s; C8 d k1 w4.刺激8 _3 c/ N: N" N1 B$ e* a( V( I9 C
今天我走在街上，; w4 B( r$ H' Q: h4 E
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺; Q' B. c4 o8 r$ c
，我心想完了。
' b; z. Q* B) v' ?' u. @# p过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
' e( H; X* D8 A5 p! O8 Y" O“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。, M% q! q- c; X0 P) ?( o
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！" u/ C/ ^) R( v, r' j
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激; V$ O( ?. e1 K0 J8 ]6 ^
! r: s3 x, {" o) v, l- B5.不加倍
# L" F* c, ^0 m9 l7 Y7 |小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，. C7 E# _7 W2 B( ~% x. f2 I, @0 c
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。, h+ [, s0 k" J9 i- @5 T
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”9 y4 x- ?. [7 k& i2 a+ _
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
. ], K Z) J8 [. e* ^% W小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”0 @( P0 Q3 W) j
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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