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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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$ m# ^* r" L! _5 T" w/ A* v/ _今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！, b* o9 v8 C% c, N! r
我先来！6 R9 q9 f6 A0 y* k$ N
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& K* Y; g( [% d- h1 C) B. [A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
1 x( H/ ]9 m. w( c) z/ u同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”8 Q c% B3 |8 O, s7 R5 Y
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"6 j' ]6 M: `* z8 W, \) g
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，' W* z8 G u9 A8 z4 k
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”' W' N6 i, p0 i2 @3 @. W1 }
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
7 g" k3 [. _* R所以非常受欢迎。
! j& Q# {* @( M第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，1 F5 D$ w4 h( n5 P
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”8 p4 O: b. m" |; y
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，: x! o( a T: f4 W- Q
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：6 Q9 @3 |3 f/ S
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！6 I( v: k2 a9 s: Z/ ^
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
# q2 L) f6 t. c- g! F1 c! n9 Z+ g她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
" C' X6 u' M; X9 F9 H1 f. w7 z生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。0 _ l2 ~' e9 `5 O5 I
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
. l* `, r2 O$ K9 N! _小明：不行
) x# w# ~4 j2 B4 {6 Z+ j老师：為什麼？& c1 Z2 u, n2 F
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
4 z. C0 s: r. \! y+ P: v小明：我是照你的话做的! Q2 ?4 M i) z6 T/ ~& H! D
妈妈：我说了什麼？
9 B2 b" H7 Y4 W. z1 B0 H小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
& O5 n% f( x2 S i# h她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
1 h& {1 m* H9 D就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
7 P" ]2 I0 A5 ?4 w0 }+ ?" }5 n小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
+ T: M- r% w/ o$ t! L9 @; Y妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
1 z9 _& Q. M2 ?2 I5 t小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
' L/ m+ B; Z7 k8 q" M然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。- S# r0 f( G: n7 A- M2 B) w
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