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1.局花
; {) U3 O* m* n3 ]. p$ t局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
1 Z s+ ^: Z Q% [心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，6 ~- ?. Z4 ?2 |' H
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
! O* U8 c" l* [6 I6 p3 G评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
' l. k$ H- ?8 x1 f+ O, g) ?4 |( P9 ?0 B' A5 H0 y6 B
2.媳妇
7 O n# N q1 ?$ |10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。4 V6 T; |% l! ^% ]
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”& X8 p/ {0 s7 \$ u9 u
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
8 y) S; B0 x# z评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺' k, O2 f' z" \1 L. u6 r5 g) {9 u
* l4 D. n3 X& S' h! g3 X4 k! {3 m
3.倒贴
* f5 F/ c8 l! T7 q' d过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
6 @/ {! N) y8 j于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。1 r2 i. T0 ]4 ~' g/ D- ?
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”2 g7 Y/ f9 k, m; P. [
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”6 \5 p1 g7 |1 g6 L9 ?9 M [- h
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，! a$ O5 a# R( }8 c2 @7 S, O2 F
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
9 d7 p9 S( R' w评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊6 W& {3 Y: }( p% O
4 D! N, R/ v# a2 g+ O! O
4.刺激
! ]5 e$ X+ b) s4 d9 n今天我走在街上，
]* y1 p- P# T对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺* r2 w7 c8 f( V9 P! h7 J
，我心想完了。
7 O" W9 |0 x$ ~& _$ X' p* O( V过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。- E+ g$ `6 j3 J& F# f! y
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。7 ?% |+ D& Q& r" H6 V- [5 y! K
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
& O0 {0 I4 y+ O/ _评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激- L5 Y* |4 O: \: W/ }# e; m
' L# D& A) h- U( ` s/ A+ B5.不加倍
7 C+ s6 b6 V# w, N小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，: i7 W8 _! X7 m
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
: ` Z* _! \6 n+ t: {老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
0 R; u# v$ U6 g! S6 U小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
9 ~& F% ?5 J. s% i1 N小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”) @# Z6 a& M- b2 Y2 d0 ]& P
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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