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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
9 R5 H/ B* \' z2 M# M, l0 _7 x9 F) ]& E3 X
- J% b+ x3 ^; N6 z' Q z6 Z, t今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
, ~! |3 n2 X6 \我先来！# L4 v0 U: T8 h/ n' x
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”! V' @ p7 p9 P! e* s' h0 q
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"7 }) F( j, x) L+ n J, z0 F8 Z9 M
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，: X" }( M# v. A
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
7 w; I7 P7 V0 c6 Q8 d弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，) k9 X/ W" z" c, I8 B
所以非常受欢迎。4 m! I2 z5 C* d3 ?+ X+ P' u; ?& A
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，: L5 {$ k/ x! O1 L! B
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
* @2 d" u! O5 p9 n大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，& r+ x9 D( ^+ z( A
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
8 P( v3 t) R7 r% P- \' l, Z有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！8 L7 j. E0 p5 N" [1 X K' T, R
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”! w5 C' L; y2 U$ t/ p- y. z4 L
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪5 q' I ^; H8 M* u
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。# ]: @3 l0 w6 U$ ^ X3 p A" v
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
1 L" V$ p% G; {5 L9 Z. d小明：不行
5 ^ n% s1 |' M4 y2 M; ]% M老师：為什麼？+ N# I) N @1 m5 a
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
1 e4 [2 M" r( ]% T9 ?0 m. c# O* r小明：我是照你的话做的) T p- Y9 @2 X0 v
妈妈：我说了什麼？* E8 L% e# T9 Z: g) U
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，6 G# R. x3 G6 O0 E3 k4 C
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
: z5 n1 i/ S& P4 F就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”1 n# A# V$ R+ |6 j8 [$ W
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
9 |1 y0 v" j; g6 J妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
% |4 j( \7 @" ]2 s% L. T小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
9 |4 E+ _; H6 B然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。4 N& {; u% z8 n, H! ~; M x
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