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1.局花
" }, \& P$ V; e0 j) I局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中， R9 a# |# l# s8 H" K
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
, b7 M+ Z" Y- z+ G9 J" G: g' C" W小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。# f& T) H& Y6 q1 E; [! U: B
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
# q" x5 x0 x0 m% t
( h* J3 S) B0 @9 L5 x4 ]5 L2.媳妇
3 `3 E7 q" z6 r10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。: c7 U! F# T3 d/ t3 B: v' B
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”7 ^+ \2 H/ F2 U% {
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
1 n- h6 q( Q0 v* g评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺$ U6 z( l# C' x! x
4 U% o- S' O- Z$ C# o0 Z3.倒贴, f8 D% i# `+ D; k
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。1 i+ N3 J" ^# c( g5 M; w
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
" P2 d' x( B. b7 u0 o, I老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”$ [! v5 P" p4 i% Q5 o% X
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”" T/ U B1 U' |/ i1 T/ Z5 U5 }
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
" n$ D3 D* \/ m- i3 ~0 \, x- z“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”7 K% J. g6 }9 k
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
2 o8 J( ]: s `0 n( O9 e; _) y) V$ C; j) H0 J
4.刺激. ]/ M, y, s$ _4 l
今天我走在街上，
: w/ p) L9 J0 V9 Z- R: v, u对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺( F9 a, n, P* O
，我心想完了。/ z$ u8 u4 |+ C" j3 a5 @
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
8 ]- E7 b" _, U$ ^: _3 D' {& z' m“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
8 Q- J3 F( F" X' w/ @: S4 o0 t尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！! P/ T# _5 \5 n/ N: f, {4 Z
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激9 }3 n6 h* Y2 R" _. i) E: A
* H6 b6 L: O( H
5.不加倍$ n! q7 y g# D( t, J, W
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
( ~9 D Z2 A9 W0 C. k( g今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。- o0 p: g0 S2 z
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”$ Y! Z: ?8 n5 `" ]
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！” L6 T6 ?% l; m
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
' T6 p! z. g M4 @, _& h/ P# A评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的" I: E9 h# d |' w4 o* W
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