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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”
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' D/ w+ {3 F) U6 ~2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”$ u4 `, S0 m7 E
" u! q7 d! _0 g男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。/ U! N2 f8 }% v1 {$ G! ?8 k
7 L$ C: g4 L5 O7 Q. b* o老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。+ t4 {* ?3 P. q5 w U! A
8 H% Y' Q L4 d2 L# t+ l笑死我了。。。# a6 r& {2 q" x0 T
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，1 w+ K" G0 P1 h" K9 B8 }2 ]
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，& Z5 ^9 E8 e8 @1 d; i
2 s' y8 ~& P6 \3 G我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!* D9 p j& ]5 |8 Q" l' a4 I H1 u
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!: q. q! o. x/ Q( T
5 j8 F6 |: V( Q- s6 @, Y2 N晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，( p9 C, X3 ?. d! A. L) c& K- d# u/ t
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”; f2 q, Y- A9 z: P" g, X) l2 {! z
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…3 Y0 A( } \1 E5 ]* M) K; r# m+ Z
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，/ G N; G* F3 L% |* W+ d- e
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！
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3 g& @9 R! Q. r% \* ^3 H一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。% E( K% R# w9 ~3 T
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当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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我，无业闲人一个。9 i1 }4 w' H& ?" B
% K" F- C' `& k女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？ H: P! u! ? n' F V% E
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。; w2 w# V7 R& A6 P
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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