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1.局花% o- J) D- r. D, |, {6 G4 o' H
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，$ W$ W! S5 h1 [
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
7 s& t7 F5 ^# L y小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。2 P9 d* {- P0 y+ T5 {
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么! p/ }$ ^# | ^* w3 |9 L8 I' M ~
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2.媳妇
1 X5 ~1 v2 ^0 F- [10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
, ]. j& R7 S% |/ d他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
% G# b9 [) Q2 G0 V* o( O1 \' s' ]/ D谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”! j/ `* a; R+ s( E
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
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: F. W v) U' U( `: Q) U3.倒贴& g7 D' Y2 m& L$ Z- w! K
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
6 L+ H2 o4 n1 H2 L于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
2 I3 F6 Y6 m0 w' m4 I D; q0 Z, j+ |老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”2 T& z. _# u& A; j8 i
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
2 Q1 C3 t% w# ^: \9 ~! t话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
& L0 N# A" I* q. T1 }3 f“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
7 H0 Y; `* l( w1 A, W& a评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
5 G* B {/ H8 o5 j4 N/ v/ V( ?7 s- r; l- a5 \" Q$ u
4.刺激: |0 f( d; a0 B5 ]8 o
今天我走在街上，; t4 P3 z5 z7 i( N2 r( ?! A
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
}+ G2 o* ^% e: L- K) ?' d，我心想完了。
1 T0 Q: E C% J$ ]( y过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。/ V5 ~/ e7 T8 E; B( H+ Q1 q- }( n
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。5 T1 D+ B3 L+ Y) ] }8 m
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
( U" O9 H, i! o1 l评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
4 z: X E$ Y6 }$ Z' |- G! b
5 O1 [! q& N z s# Y5 r5.不加倍
V( |4 h% n" b4 ^* p6 u小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
5 {7 V$ ]+ I% E今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。 N( n0 s3 @% y8 Q
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”; X2 z/ _7 ]1 d' y3 b
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”- z: A* L7 h' ~& `9 _
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”: c1 b- B: l" Y u A
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
5 i. S: N3 u' I1 _4 ] |
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