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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”
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0 q/ g* Z5 a& R& _$ ^+ Z8 \1 ]2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”2 \* r+ `- I+ v5 l+ l
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”6 X4 w" R) v$ d: j, S4 H
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。0 D8 x) E7 Y( Q% ~+ D
9 ^* a. e0 g3 W1 V老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。1 |0 S8 S) ~) S3 X* Y5 i
: G. O R. Z2 I0 q; ~女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，+ X5 U9 E! m! t7 v
# U, \ Z# f) i @% C- {可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
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5 }; m: V" _+ e: O. n我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!4 a: P: k' K i) R2 F
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!
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晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”3 z2 U+ x$ A8 r+ F* l: t H$ l
# p0 }, j- L. P' w; I0 t恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”5 ` x9 p4 R/ D/ o5 R5 b1 ~
% U Q% Y( X" T9 v. P/ e3 Q& t孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…. a: w; T+ x; H3 `. K! }
" O6 S( M3 M7 {. Y5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！ R1 `" ~. \4 A2 P1 b
/ m4 E1 n6 }* f! A- K T* c一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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. T4 D1 s5 ]* ]1 w3 E; j8 \/ i' S我，无业闲人一个。 _$ `8 y1 v ^
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚… @! h6 \# P- S, k
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当前离线
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