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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”- @" r' N$ H$ ^. F! Z P
# h) B; A- B" g, U! l* j; _* U: C2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”! {) k; r( j& C. A' B+ }
' |; o" |' j" S ^9 g# v男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”
/ a' W; A4 ^! ]5 X
" n0 ?' G! \$ p/ k+ a3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。: P3 Z/ T1 D1 g) L
: J4 f6 x9 b9 U) m8 n6 o0 e老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。# y0 _: s+ ^1 } s- F0 {
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女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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, @7 H6 c8 N9 s7 d: S$ Y: I v笑死我了。。。0 ]' B/ R% j* ?+ N' o
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，: [1 r( P2 ~. y0 U3 F& n
( w \3 x; f" U0 Z! _7 e可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，! E# N* Q3 n3 M: Q) S# m
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!: V# T4 b, m9 w) h, P
- ]- B8 S1 Q( R; ^8 l- S k& Q晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”6 E3 i' r2 b" a
M0 F4 J# m( z; D0 _( U恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，
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% V/ m+ _6 F, f7 { M就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”0 _# l4 y4 t* T- S- P) a+ s
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…/ c0 l9 @. j5 g7 q0 h: u4 j
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！
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一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
: M5 m$ G- j# z1 x9 [9 T$ V% |
; J& |- q" \4 k1 j当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
. N8 f5 n+ B$ H: j' M q. v
/ k/ p2 [- v; D! I$ h我，无业闲人一个。
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？- [& x% w1 D _; X+ ?; L
; A7 r0 @1 \8 x8 H4 V$ X7 W$ I4 Q我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。. o# R2 y9 M+ y3 b
4 L: z+ R" F. b. r. B8 y$ P% f, |女：滚她妈犊子，滚…8 l. D$ _3 n3 L$ V# ^# F6 c8 ^% n
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当前离线
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