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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐* [; n: }) F* h: h! R
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
' {% [; H, M& h8 u我先来！' o7 \$ w" n# b$ H4 |. ?
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, m8 F4 H8 V$ g- J% uA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
- q, K& t+ K5 p& g同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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) s1 i) {4 L# q& X$ [深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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% W; Z; a6 X0 u1 L一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
9 Q( J# L5 J# h4 Q, ?) P! I* @每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
0 p5 H: o, `0 g6 ?弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，: `, |* H* v5 _" G0 o2 J' m, c
所以非常受欢迎。& Q' Q$ [/ L$ Y/ y# i
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，6 w! L; |5 [# W$ d
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
/ R A8 C ~0 G0 W4 t: x1 w' r. E大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，8 l; ]0 M# n+ L0 w6 i
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
8 \/ l4 f1 n" O' i' e有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！9 V6 `5 C. v% x$ s( M
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”* a# T# U* u p
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪' l. n, y2 F6 G# m5 X5 H
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。3 v, B+ t0 V) y& \" ?
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
* T/ c- | c: ?小明：不行
/ ?' c2 q1 M9 O老师：為什麼？* {8 K+ R" ]: ^& ?
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分3 a$ W5 [. q- O9 B
小明：我是照你的话做的
3 z; y3 l! g7 D( l; n' N+ Q妈妈：我说了什麼？
% K; l4 \% H& b" p8 C* i# M小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
* [( Q( \/ y) R7 E, B1 x她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
# [1 c$ Z- i8 l3 b7 n; }$ ~9 E就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”# T: Y* G# X) a, |6 ~6 a
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？8 x8 e1 W$ ?) o* s, u
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
! ? U; j* v- k, d a5 @3 O小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！5 z5 q2 ]) B! K4 _# P1 ?
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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3 w4 M$ ~$ g$ R; U4 I: E) f$ f大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。1 f/ ]' C+ K' M% S9 L! f5 j/ s
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