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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
R0 \5 f, _% P$ n8 Z2 l ?. B1 H' d4 V Y) ~
7 D! d$ s$ {( S/ R6 _1 y今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！) X( I" D+ C/ }
我先来！+ [% [4 H2 h% ~4 P& |! c
|2 b% F( V) {, U. M7 g/ X. o' m, i2 \2 h; O
A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”. e4 \3 ^7 Q( D7 L3 Z
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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( K5 s: Z4 ^5 f. j; ~) {) _深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"( E7 t. x n5 \+ T8 b! j3 ^. k
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4 ]9 c. F1 q) b8 M+ u$ _4 ]) T1 M一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，2 ?% z- s [: @8 Q$ u1 p* ]
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
' l7 n- d. w4 z弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
: f" ~: |6 Y$ c; Z& v' u2 l所以非常受欢迎。- Y- j2 E3 m) W# V, G8 G. S8 W
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
7 O8 W: | Y' `问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”0 m; R |4 R! }
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，- }8 w; m0 z" k/ w/ y% X
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：/ S# ^! P. _/ i9 @$ w3 v
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！3 G8 Y5 l- [% ^) t1 P$ T l7 m
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
2 q% ^* O0 J. g1 ]. @她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
3 _" N+ C" h+ Q# H6 h7 ~生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
6 ]" Y. P p, _8 _- o于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
: ^ g9 |( D. b9 ?: V D- P小明：不行
: J# J1 I6 a; R8 U( H7 |老师：為什麼？- ~, Y* b3 B7 _2 T. e
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分5 g1 l& j$ `- x
小明：我是照你的话做的6 Y2 w# W3 @& M e
妈妈：我说了什麼？
" B7 y0 {$ ?! L8 w小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
0 {& {" I0 d3 p0 v她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
+ y/ f( l2 `& `' q& ` M, `就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
7 {; z# ]) E$ w8 G小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
/ x) n1 B9 H5 L1 J9 G妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？! F, P, k* \. B7 H2 R3 G
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
# d8 Y9 u5 l8 K/ P: @* t然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 1 z7 Y% D) e9 f+ z: x6 P9 J+ T# [
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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