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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐+ D2 }9 v, [; T ] _7 H
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！: d# J( C5 k9 t2 ~# t* E/ C
我先来！
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”# \% `6 g; }, D. f" g/ g
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”' X+ [ ~# ]: v4 H
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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% {' Z/ q9 J: r: ]* `1 _' t+ c一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，; b5 i! A) i6 ^4 G! b$ P7 |+ h
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”; C6 C2 k1 Q# L# i9 z2 D' H @
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
; b9 f; ]3 D: L2 L. `所以非常受欢迎。
7 P0 u6 ?4 A3 ~ f第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
$ g( V0 v* g/ C. L问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
+ F- F; r2 }6 Q: I7 s大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
1 n1 P9 N. M; H& t回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：1 U& V# h6 N. U( ^
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
$ b- J& [( T- |" d. I! ]不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
7 } W% M% a# m# n, N+ Y% v( q8 p她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
. w. B ]; A$ d% x5 N; j生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。" ~; C1 T+ K: B% O
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。, L6 S# L0 G# d% o# d5 j, t( I$ J
小明：不行3 z1 r, g1 `; n) S! X, H8 A
老师：為什麼？
/ m: R7 r, L" S7 U8 c" F6 @; j小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
% S+ ?0 l+ Q# Z7 w2 w7 A4 l2 a) v* W小明：我是照你的话做的
, D8 b- @/ o% d; O" o妈妈：我说了什麼？
4 l/ f, \" U3 r, Z小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
9 Q5 l$ k( n& {8 ?她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，! W& n. x$ i S& d' g( A
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”5 [6 I# U% J3 a3 C V' v- v
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
) u$ ~ P) A/ ~7 }$ O妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？1 U5 P5 |' ~, {2 g
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！; y0 q( D: R: t; U$ o: o3 h# W
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ $ n% S! M1 H( s. i2 C
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% b" t6 _3 n6 O8 U1 w大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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