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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
' j7 B3 U$ g r$ A: j/ E
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' S. z% k) Y: u/ `: K今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！- Q+ @* O0 W; c3 o0 P
我先来！# L, g/ N, n% Q9 L" L% n$ g
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
, h2 B& B5 D3 S5 ^3 G9 o/ b+ h& g7 Z同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”) `4 u5 {; C2 h& N" K, n( A5 p9 S# Z
4 k( E' v" ~# r
, |. E2 c v" \" U深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…") ?6 m, J- E5 {7 ^4 i
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% J2 _7 l% @0 N7 ]; f一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
3 k- @, _/ |) W9 z/ @每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”9 ?: X% {6 e0 r8 ^; L# S
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，) u. U9 p9 Z, m, W
所以非常受欢迎。 |2 k0 y: K, Y- o. p l. {
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
4 v/ J, v7 q( A问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
& Z0 q( w: P2 M H" G. q. r! z大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，) p- H; f/ [$ Z" t& C) U& z% g' s
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：, [/ n/ ]4 W9 p! u, _! d0 y
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！$ S( |( B2 ]5 E! l/ J
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
; l9 D+ F8 {1 Z& A; m& m( }她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪5 p. A3 ]5 A+ a$ a w( e; r
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
+ Z' S# s$ `, s/ p* `5 v于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
& ], e8 g2 N4 k8 ?' {5 Y# {9 u小明：不行
5 Y. N% f% K4 J8 z老师：為什麼？
4 B9 f! q2 H5 l; j! d* j5 O# W小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分! Z0 O, N* L' F- C S
小明：我是照你的话做的& `6 K9 j* z6 ?3 D7 A$ A+ W8 b6 n
妈妈：我说了什麼？
8 z$ P6 \" D; A小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，, R+ G1 G3 l2 q% v
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
4 q5 J( {$ b3 e& ~就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”- @( b( k7 w$ u% L" g. t" F
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
$ J/ T! L2 ~: }" v0 U0 w- i妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？2 T+ Y/ K5 D1 N
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！# R* E1 W5 D( R. Q
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
' C4 s) x5 C* g5 H. V- z9 O9 }2 `4 v& Q, U) s2 q5 s! ^
' N! P& h9 T( R5 w0 @) ~大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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