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1.局花
; c; T0 K) r% R2 w# C局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，- p/ ~$ _% q+ ~3 z
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，. U7 [* q; e' Y H8 {
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
4 z, j4 F$ m3 S# T) \评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
0 v9 X1 N9 u V! {( h% U+ ?. J, \; g' S6 _ ~, ~
2.媳妇
) r+ _! Q, L# x4 s6 i10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
! \" Z: {- C* l* L他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”: E, v- D0 K9 u" u% p7 B
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”% y; s0 A9 j* Q0 A9 r. G. j
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺9 u9 u7 h; s- J' b% F. b
$ Z, R6 I' M* [. Q/ M. _# g
3.倒贴
: g1 O" k& }: i$ [' S过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。5 f/ e+ T7 r0 \
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。$ u- H& m/ }" I
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”4 F- t/ Y1 [. H& H- s
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”; e5 P0 G& ]" V# ?) C
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，# P4 W& |, B2 u
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”4 ~8 C# d6 U4 S g. l3 \9 s& q
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
& U; q" D* {8 y7 b ?. d9 C
S: W3 d% F9 [ G4.刺激
' D& C' e& ` i; o7 g* U今天我走在街上，
3 S; _9 T3 K5 {* F对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺7 \' i! W1 u6 H: r" I4 M
，我心想完了。
2 s* ]+ _* o: U9 X0 X) _过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
: ^; p! i$ M, @“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
( x8 F# c- o @尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
9 f* E3 e5 [" D% q. H: a; G- {评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
& ?# [& ~6 C6 H9 [* U
0 r+ U7 }: p+ O3 @) O5.不加倍( ?$ W/ j+ W1 }1 E* o
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
9 q$ ~: a) f% x# h4 f今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
. z# N, E# Z! i2 v0 N老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
# X4 X" E2 ?% T小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
3 c, c; ]& {$ A小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”, L* W: Q' l6 O, B- L: ~2 S
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的; M; x! F# [( O" U1 ?7 a0 @# L4 q
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