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1.局花 c1 p S7 S0 s; O0 p
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
; |0 J% K7 I7 W4 l心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
9 k. u" i& ?3 b- d0 w2 w' E. K小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。1 a; `- j: f) }" _, W
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么 V6 b1 j) `( f- y' y
N, a( _" I- ?* m2.媳妇
+ H/ t4 N; t2 n10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。" U: Y" M* L, b7 c. J1 Q
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”0 g5 Z: c( U: ~
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”/ k: ]) t+ E1 k6 ?* `
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
1 c3 [8 C, L; u
0 b* T2 j! U3 P3.倒贴
, p1 o! _. D- {5 T* z) X* w4 b6 n) a过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
- K$ |+ N" d3 m于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
+ Z8 b8 `) V; G6 @& F) F老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
1 N& P' r3 V& j: }, @9 j- X2 n/ { o( q1 @老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
: M8 C* N9 f- \$ O话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
5 B* W+ a* V. R+ w“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”0 g. @9 t& m6 W( S% H# {5 x2 W2 Y
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
& D5 ~6 ~" ^, I. w
$ i- e& |6 t/ P: o$ ]/ p# O \4.刺激
3 }. R( i' {! _. M& D6 ~今天我走在街上，
: M$ ]0 l, K5 A' m+ C对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
# Z; f# R9 Y, m6 m( M& F，我心想完了。2 s* D x! i4 ?, z, U1 i" D9 o8 L
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
9 X2 ?) H& W) d7 f( J4 Y e2 T“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
0 |& `1 _' r. x% o, S- I尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！0 Z0 F/ E! Y$ H9 g& q
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激# ?" E- m# S) R/ }; J! _3 F
" y' e7 X% \ I; A' O# @! Q- I
5.不加倍
% }# T% G, k+ w% ]& H4 e小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
5 l' X' l* ]$ Q$ ^3 z# k今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。, l$ I0 Z5 W- N0 L" }9 y" A; y
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
/ I& P; k& }5 e9 d& @6 O: q小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”8 @( m, p& H8 q: F' a
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
: ^8 @! c" p: c1 y. ]7 @ v/ o" l评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的9 e0 U4 M! G# }# g4 S0 s
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