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1.局花% _" T# s+ ^# L# _* p+ b
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，. u- U& F" Z; |) b
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，7 {: H! X. g z8 g* M1 s
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
Y! C) L9 }6 v5 g; c6 S评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
- G- D) l: P* k8 I* ]* k* a1 U- \) |3 ]3 _1 [( r- t
2.媳妇
) n/ C; N/ N$ J! T10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。0 }& N7 m# { p8 P( r
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
' I0 w5 U; V/ K谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”3 h' j p" E, @ k9 _6 L# J( ]
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺( w! n& l* u$ ^/ b) Z% i j p
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3.倒贴: N# u( T6 g: h! C- ^9 S
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
. B! o: m* A; w% u0 U! d' P于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。# T0 j" x2 L o+ a( U
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
, Z x/ c" E: h) J/ K老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”5 I- [' u0 J/ f9 o2 U) A9 d& a/ f U2 e
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，, v, |& v7 f6 t9 n& v: u) o
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”3 k; S5 {; B1 V6 K6 m
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊; r$ i4 h* q: ?! x9 U% x
% o3 V4 l" i0 P \* ^+ Y4.刺激2 }. d7 Q* V! {* O7 Q N
今天我走在街上，( `# N# t1 ~! q6 Z7 Z2 s* ?
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
7 t0 M" J9 n; h, k: l- [+ ]( o，我心想完了。7 [4 P2 e& }, z& _9 F
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。' v* h+ k4 T% f: l
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
) K% a) g: e" ` |4 d+ E尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
" q) C* i3 E/ i: u# @评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
+ q& ^- d( ?+ j9 m
& V- X& ~" f7 j( L7 N. x; A5.不加倍
" B/ _. y9 {& g, X9 t) ]# S% A小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，* a) M& E7 X# [) v# {/ G
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
4 _% S; D% V+ G% `9 Q老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
) O: k+ g. @2 D( Y7 U; H2 d小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”) R* t5 x: V+ p" r6 C
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
* y# ~+ j3 c P. g" W评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的" m+ j$ M9 t4 a5 u( c
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