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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐: Z6 X2 h( S* v, T5 G) x
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！5 d) d Y# j9 `/ ~9 n; V: `8 a) P* T8 f; R
我先来！, L' _8 k3 ` E& r8 I
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”! d& p. u" o7 c1 @) w' I
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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R4 M% ~) o4 d: r: m' U% v! p深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…") {- P6 O1 T: Z% i% ~$ p
5 ~2 G# o4 T5 Y6 p4 }* c/ k5 j0 n4 _ `8 ^
一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，, `: s6 e# D2 r4 n) k. g5 c
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
3 Q- R' B' O7 h4 A5 P弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，3 Y) D4 c, I: }
所以非常受欢迎。/ G; `; A* N3 o7 r- C" m7 Q* g3 Z' Q
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
$ s' w W3 C" z# n问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”7 U, [& g1 _0 _& [: c0 ?. Q J
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，! D' o' `! ?9 r1 n- Q
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：" g1 Y4 D: J2 q/ S( o3 O7 ~
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！: B- B& _) z6 `" p, I6 i9 W
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
& H" A% z! o9 W% e2 i7 K6 O她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪9 y( i% R5 j% T- w) k B4 y
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
7 A2 c: S, [$ U1 o. v于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
. q# i( b/ P4 Q+ o1 h- E; v小明：不行
M3 W" j/ A) z/ e8 P2 C1 x老师：為什麼？
* ~. V8 G; a `) h6 I: w! H小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
; f' c7 M3 A+ g! B5 b小明：我是照你的话做的
* @ j6 V6 x" E+ f) i' s妈妈：我说了什麼？
6 u: f: w) Y/ \7 D! e% ~小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，* ]3 H1 W4 l1 U% J& z
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，& N9 N/ U) B) @: B' y0 V1 p
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”- f _9 L8 m" U$ {) ?: H- |
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
$ r8 Y, D# @# ~# ?+ G, c8 A妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？4 x. _7 `( M: v& q, u q
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
1 }5 S% w6 Y; |! v然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。( z& ~! Z0 }/ m( @
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