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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐/ W& }' V- i2 z4 X' O8 X6 I
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！: c' B% }5 Y( O1 r/ t5 M$ C4 _6 J
我先来！
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$ b3 M9 k1 x! |; ^6 p2 P8 T, n3 i9 \2 RA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
5 P8 ~+ o$ B6 h2 {* Y: l同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”4 {# y% u7 N+ D( `' [" G
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"5 `! H4 P, U* \9 w2 X* w9 b
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，6 }) \5 a& n) C+ q
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”; S4 C1 X3 F$ A: E1 H
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，( G/ @% M) A4 J' p; A+ {5 l8 w
所以非常受欢迎。. H& _7 y) P" ^3 z
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
7 o" V" E7 w5 L问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
( `; m" ]! u! d; Z- x1 _; g( M大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，$ x; `, z( \8 m. R1 f
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
& @1 B4 ~/ T9 q3 n; n& _& f有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！" K. P9 O7 e% R7 I0 p1 o
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”9 ?& b; A0 S% G9 {( K$ p4 _& _
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪; J/ e# D$ a9 g3 x" Z+ {
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。) s! Q8 }& U' |) y" ?# `
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
, E8 }( v. b# ^小明：不行& w, B) S; {# q$ N) F# s
老师：為什麼？
f3 g: T6 P9 ^/ j6 |! L5 G% ~小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
5 c6 z( u" S( H% `+ Y0 _# ~6 W3 q小明：我是照你的话做的7 f8 s X. [+ b1 f6 n0 R' H
妈妈：我说了什麼？! B) I+ ]1 M( g$ V9 I' V
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，& K: x2 r1 B6 P) J+ K# [4 I# r' P
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，% O: l3 A# A: Q6 ]( T% M' M4 [, T
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
( U6 U S# I2 N5 ^5 N5 j$ K小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？. N3 A8 V9 w. z L
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
1 E# M- J" w" A+ b1 j% O" m7 F小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！$ H) E3 E5 d x8 R
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 8 }- @ r4 q5 k. _
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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