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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”
. T/ Q' s9 \1 \0 p# e8 c$ E
( [# K) Z7 Q8 S" h) @0 A4 S! h2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”5 z3 L6 o% | u8 H. v# {: a5 g
7 f2 |# b! c& A8 `, C& H男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。, \( O/ C: Y1 m% d
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老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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0 [) u# G0 E% W女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。; h8 V8 _2 |+ q
* L/ o( j5 I& o' L1 u笑死我了。。。" {' L- c0 v5 N2 @& S- l
! |3 D7 |# R% ?2 i2 _/ ?4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，- }; [! y+ F* ?# q: t# G! ]+ q
# I5 g9 h4 \/ _0 r! G; O3 O可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，9 R8 w8 |# j* l# Z6 P0 ]
9 B y0 s1 C0 e我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!* g5 l" q; S+ H, |% p1 |5 b# p( L
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!9 E. _. }! { K2 ?' V- d' `
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晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
5 b# S' c& S6 {+ b( k0 a
" u) J6 b2 P: F: d恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，( G1 z% k: k% q5 E
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…0 f4 j# |/ V* J W' G2 |" b
% l( F6 i* ~9 S% _9 R* k5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，/ X# k) f( e( ]1 p" j
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！
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' _, u: s, G+ a6 ]一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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7 B& |3 j( N ^/ r8 L% F; P当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？3 s# t# v8 W1 l
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我，无业闲人一个。! ?8 r+ r: o' D$ t* Z
+ N: N/ O6 w) o0 C女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？7 f* x# U$ S) n, [9 f4 l) l
% \" t! \! j* b5 w" ~- b我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。9 c3 A4 }4 ~9 D% w7 ~' K3 [/ U
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…1 t6 B/ J3 ^9 H. |1 \8 ?
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当前离线
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